Vive le Difference!

One of the beautiful women in my life commented that there is a need to remind us all of the beauty in the differences between man and woman, in addition to my usual pounding need to drive home the truth of our equality...

I agree.

That said, I firmly believe that until we accept the equality, we cannot embrace the beauty of the difference. Why not? Because the beautiful in the difference is God, who is all that is true, good and beautiful. Without being able to see the whole of the created, we cannot begin to fathom the beauty of the Creator.

We can use a painting for an example. The Impressionists were radical at the time, not only because of the abbreviated subjects, but also because of the activated landscapes they depicted. If you look closely at, say, a landscape by Monet, you will see thick, curving layers of paint, whose very application helps the landscape move. But if you were only to look at a single brushstroke, you would miss the meaning. In a different era, The electricity of Pollock's work is not even in the painting itself, but in the movement of the Painter. Splattered paint is just the footprint of the man who danced before the canvas.

Until we begin to clearly understand - to open our eyes and hearts and see- that we as mankind are complete as two halves of a whole... to understand that God's image is "maleandfemale" as it were, then we cannot start to see the wonder-ful, awe-some power and beauty and Truth in the difference.

And here's the rub. While most Gen Xers and Millennials would likely be fine with the idea of men and women as equal, it is still very much in theory. Women still hate and resent men for their focus, insensitivity, and the list continues. Men still objectify women - even good men- because it is easy. We use and abuse. Even those of us determined to walk on a just path still use the opposite sex, or resent them, or forget them.
So? I agree - vive le difference! But a difference of equals - a deeper look into the image of God.

In defense of a new 'do

I am always amazed at the pick and choose method so many people use when reading Scripture, and perhaps the most irritating to me is the application, willy-nilly, of fundamentalist interpretation when Catholics know that the Bible was meant to be read contextually.

Let me give you an example. In Proverbs 31, a litany about a "worthy wife," we read: fine linen and purple are her clothing.

However, I have yet to come across any group of faithful Catholic women who only wear purple, shun wool sweaters in winter, or refuse to shop at Target, as the case may be. We understand that these descriptions bore another meaning in ancient times, that purple was a symbol more than a color, and that it expresses a way of life, not an uncompromising direction.

Which brings me to my latest hair-raising observation: Chapel veils.
Sure, St. Paul said women would bring shame on themselves by praying with an uncovered head. But men, the "glory of God" should pray with their heads uncovered. Um, what?

Let's see what else Paul says. He suggests women who "shave their heads" will bring shame also, since apparently a woman's hair has something to do with her worth. Be realistic. Does it make any sense in 2009 that a woman's worth has anything to do with her hair? I mean, unless she is growing it to sell for wigs, hair is nice... but like clothing, does not make the woman.

He ALSO mentions that a man who grows his hair brings shame on himself. Again, this may well have had a cultural impact back in the 60s... I mean, the 60ADs. But now, I beg to clarify. I'm thinking of two men I know, both in their early 30s, who live in NJ, and who each chose to grow out his hair long in order to donate it to a wig-making cancer awareness organization. Shame? I think not! This is a beautiful, generous and valuable contribution on their part. I am sure you would agree.

So what is wrong with us, that we literalize the words of St. Paul, and begin to put the chapel veil for women back on a pedestal? Who are the men who think women should once again be singled out as unequal, secondary, unworthy?

And worse. Who are the women?
Who are these women who are accepting a role as "the one made from man" instead of realizing Paul's real and final point - "just as woman came from man, so man is born of woman, and all things are from God" (1 Cor. 11:12). We are equal. And some women out there are reaching back into a past where this concept was twisted, where women were somehow not only different, but less than.

Shame on you despite your covered heads! Shame on you for using a symbol of separation and trying to turn it into a badge of humility before God. If you really believe it is a necessary symbol to show humility, you should be insisting adamantly that the men in your lives cover their heads too... "for all men have fallen short of the glory of God"...

You can't have it both ways. If you want to live your life honoring God's Word, then you must accept that "male and female He created them" - that women are not more separated from God than men... that we are half of the same whole.
Want to impact the culture? Please reconsider that prayer, courage, Truth and encouraging women and men to be treated with value and dignity will be far greater signs of respect for our Maker than any piece of lace will ever have - twisted or not.

Giving Birth

Today I was able to spend all three meals with different youth ministry alumni. Yes, this job really does rock, to use the vernacular.

At some point during alumni chats the question always arises - how's the youth ministry? Either I have not caught on that they're just being polite, or they have not caught on that I will Answer That Question when asked, but it seems to always come up.

I'm excited. I feel the prompting of the Holy Spirit and I hope to be filled and inspired. I have another year to introduce teens to Jesus, to help them find their identity, to dream big.

I have another year ahead of kids who promise to show but don't, basketball guys showing up to play in the middle of a prayer session, parents who can't understand that youth ministry is about faith formation and not having grinds, er, I mean, dances, and rain delays, missed family outings, late nights on facebook, hundreds of envelopes to stuff, unreturned calls, pressure from the bored or misguided or mean.

I have another year ahead of kids who promise to live pure lives, who get excited opening the Bible and starring in skits, who enjoy sharing their faith with jr. high kids, and witness to their experience of Christ, who wear retreat tshirts to public school, want to know what we believe, of parents who offer to help and are thankful for the sacrifices, of nights of trust and peace and joy, adoration, spiritual enrichment, fulfillment, tears, smiles, Jesus.

Youth ministry is a building experience. You start with nothing... or with someone's leftovers. One year is strong. The next year no one shows. The next year you see hearts change, kids take ownership of their faith, respond in love.

It's like giving birth. Hope. Flutters of excitement. Heartburn. Backaches. Really cool pictures of what will come. Labor pains.
And then you hope for the best.

This is love. Not bypassing the pain. Not defending against criticism. But the fiat. The yes. The motherhood....